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If you have a family member or friend who is willfully sinning, you should care enough about that person to share the gospel with them and warn them of the unrighteousness they are committing in God's eyes. Whether they are fornicating, committing adultery, lying and cheating, contemplating having an abortion, living a homosexual lifestyle, following some false religion, or whatever else the sin may be, it needs to be exposed. Have you ever heard the slogan, "Friends don't let friends drive drunk"? Well, friends don't let friends incur the wrath of God!

It can be hard to tell people the truth about themselves, but doing so is what separates a real friend from a fake friend. The Bible puts it this way: "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (Proverbs 27:6). This verse is saying that real friends tell friends the truth even if it will cause a "wound." What is that wound? Possibly hurt feelings, embarrassment, hurt pride. But whatever the wound is, a friend inflicts it out of love and concern. As opposed to the enemy who will let you sin and smile in your face, never saying a word, never caring about your soul.

Remember when David was committing adultery with Bathsheba? Lots of people saw what was going on, but it was Nathan who had the guts to tell David about himself. I'm sure that the confrontation was uncomfortable for both men, but after the sin was exposed, then David was forced to make the choice of either repenting or rebelliously continuing on. David chose to get things right with God. So, again, telling people when they are engaging in sin is not always easy, but it is always necessary.

Let me give you an example of what it is like when we don't tell people what they need to know. Let's say you went to your doctor friend for an exam, and you were checked out head to toe. At the end of the physical when the tests came back, the doctor gave you a clean bill of health. You left his office a happy camper.

Then six months later, you are feeling kind of dizzy. You even blackout a couple of times. You rush back to the office of your friend the doctor. You describe your symptoms and ask him what could possibly be wrong.

Your doctor friend then tells you that you have a brain tumor the size of a baseball and probably only have a couple weeks to live.

In anger and shock you ask him, "Why wasn't this found on the tests six months ago?" He tells you that it was.

Incredulously you ask him, "Then why didn't you warn me? I could have done something about it!" He calmly says, "I didn't want to upset you. I knew that the truth would make you uncomfortable."

Is this man a good doctor? Is he a real friend? No. This is just a selfish man who is more concerned with being "liked" and thought of as "someone who is fun to be around," as opposed to being someone who truly cares about another human being. Perhaps subconsciously you remain silent for the same reason. You don't want to rock the boat or make waves. But in the long run, keeping the peace by remaining silent can have devastating consequences for our loved ones whom we did not warn and rebuke.

Show your friends the error of their ways. Point out the "cancerous" sins that are in their lives. Why? Because possibly that person will repent and then be on the road to being made perfect in Jesus. Colossians 1:28 tells us, "Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus."

Cancer left unchecked will just continue to fester and grow until it brings death. Sins left unchecked will just continue to fester and grow until they bring eternal damnation. Silence is not always golden. "Open rebuke is better than secret love" (Proverbs 27:5).

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When being this kind of friend, you may not win any popularity contests. Oftentimes, people do not appreciate being called a sinner. When you are bold enough to tell people the truth and call sin sin, expect that many people will become defensive or angry. They will accuse you of judging them. They will point out your past sins and ask you who do you think you are. You may even lose a friend or two. But personally I would rather have you mad at me now and see you in heaven later than to say nothing and watch you drift farther and farther away from God. This verse sums it up nicely: 1 Corinthians 4:14, "I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons I warn you." Just as God chastens and rebukes those whom He loves, we should do the same. We need to warn our beloved friends when we see them breaking God's laws.

And who knows? There may be a person or two who eventually thank you for loving them enough to tell them the truth. Proverbs 28:23 reads, "He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue." Don't you remember a time when someone straightened you out and told you what you needed to hear instead of what you wanted to hear?

Ecclesiastes 7:5, "It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools."

I CAN'T GET NO SATISFACTION (Part 1)

(Maybe you are hungry for the wrong things)
Remember how as a child you would want to eat some junk food -- candy, cookies, ice cream -- and your mom would tell you that you couldn't have it because "that will spoil your dinner"? Well, mom was right. No matter how nutritious, delicious, and well-balanced her carefully prepared dinner might be, if you had already eaten some junk food before the real meal, you just would not be very hungry at dinnertime. You would have already "spoiled" your dinner.

And what becomes of the child who continuously eats junk food instead of real food? That child will become overweight, undernourished, and unhealthy. Their dietary needs will be unmet and unfulfilled. That child may not be hungry, but he or she will never truly be satisfied either. Something important will be missing from their body because of their choice of food.

Well, "junk food" comes in many forms, and many adults are still substituting the junk for the real thing. How many of us have spent countless hours trying to feed a need that is inside of us -- a feeling of "if only I had or did A, B, or C, then I would be happy, successful, _____________." (You fill in the blank) And then we fill our lives with pursuits and interests and neglect the management of our souls. Instead of waiting on and being sustained by the good bread, the Bread of Life, Jesus Christ, we endlessly look to people, places, toys, hobbies, addictions, or activities to give us happiness and meaning. And, sure, these things satisfy for a time, but the happiness or fun never lasts for long. Then before you know it, you are "hungry" again and off to the next person or next pursuit, still trying to fill that inner need.

If that describes you, I must tell you that the junk of this world will never quench your thirst. You can make a million dollars, buy a 4,000 square foot home, travel around the world, drive the newest sportscar, or date a different woman or man every week. But if you do not know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, none of those things will be able to give you true contentment or satisfaction for very long.

Ecclesiastes 5:10 tells us, "He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity." And in John 4:13 we read, "Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water [meaning anything that this world has to offer] shall thirst again."

God's Word is telling you that if you are looking to worldly things to satisfy you or fill you, you will never find the peace or joy or happiness that you are looking for. You will be on an endless journey, always searching.

In my eyes, some of the saddest and most pathetic people of this world are people who think they are so "together" that they don't need Jesus. They are so fat with their own success that they don't even realize that their soul is dying. They hide their emptiness by buying more and doing more, yet reject the One who died so that they could have life more abundantly (John 10:10).

Friend, if you are trusting in wealth to make you happy, I want to let you know that it never will. If you are longing for husband, wife, or family to make you complete, you will always be disappointed. If you thirst after worldly knowledge to give you fulfillment, there will always be a void.

Matthew 5:6 gives us the only source for true fulfillment. It reads, "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled." And, reader, the only way sinful man can be accounted any measure of righteousness is by being washed in the blood of Jesus Christ. If you are not hungering and thirsting for Jesus, all of your efforts will be in vain.

Jesus said in John 6:35, "I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst." And in Matthew 16:25 Jesus tells us, "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it."

Stop trying to satisfy that need within by your own endeavors. Drink of the Living water, that you may never thirst again. Psalm 107:9, "For he (Jesus Christ) satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness." Your mom told you not to spoil your dinner with junk, and God, my Father in heaven, is telling you not to waste your time temporarily filling your hungry soul with the junk of this world.



Proverbs 13:25, "The righteous eateth to the satisfying of his soul: but the belly of the wicked shall want."

I CAN'T GET NO SATISFACTION (Part 2)

The other day I asked my 12-year-old nephew if he was going to go see a certain movie that had just come out. It was a family movie that was rated G and had gotten really good reviews. My nephew told me that he had no interest in seeing this particular movie because it was a "baby movie." He then mentioned several movies that he did want to see, all of which were rated PG-13 or R. This boy is only 12, yet his heart is already hardened to the point where he is unable to derive any satisfaction from G-rated material. How did his heart get to this condition? Because my sister had previously exposed him to movies of a more explicit nature.

Sadly, many adult men and women are just like my little nephew in that because these people have already ventured into areas and tasted of certain sinful pleasures, they are unable to be satisfied with those things that are wholesome and good. And before long, they begin to seek out and crave more hardcore material and activities to thrill and excite them. Ultimately this quest for visual stimulation can have devastating consequences to the individual and the person's family.

This sinful world that we live in is more than happy to give the people what they want. Nowadays in every city there is some kind of men's club with live strippers. At every newsstand there are countless flesh magazines filled with nude images. On the Internet there are probably millions of sites filled with pornography. And all of these enterprises are doing booming business because people, possibly you, have entered into this realm of lascivious entertainment, and then you must keep returning to satisfy this pathetic urge.

But do not be deceived. These carnal things can not and will not ever satisfy you either. As the Bible says in Proverbs 27:20, "Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied." To me this verse is saying that when you reject God's righteous gifts, blessings, and direction and instead search out some Pandora's box of thrills, you still will not be satisfied with what you find. You will just be on a slippery slope going deeper and deeper into some weird abyss.

Why do you think porno sellers give you those free introductory views of their disgusting material? We've all received an e-mail or two with a link to some site filled with nude images. The reason these internet pushers give you a little bit for free is because they know that if they can hook you, you won't be satisfied for long and that soon you will be willing to pay top dollar for more and more disgusting and bizarre images.

But not only will you still not be satisfied. Ultimately if you insist on disobeying God and seeking out this sinful material, God will give you over to your sin, and your mind will become darker and darker. Romans 1:28 tells us, "And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness..."

Satan is the ruler of this world, and if you keep on tasting of his wares and inviting him into your being and seeking to be entertained by these perverse things, you will become a slave to this sin.

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Now, some people feel, "Oh, what is the big deal. I'm an adult. I'm just looking." Friend, do not fool yourself for a minute into thinking that opening your eyes and mind to this kind of imagery does no harm. Proverbs 6:27 asks the question: "Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?" Whenever we disobey God's standards of righteousness and stir up these kind of sinful imaginations, a price is going to be paid. Your quest for fleshly satisfaction will wreak harm in your life whether you are single, married, young, old, male or female.

Whether you are a man frequenting peep shows or a woman reading Harlequin romance novels and watching soap operas, you are damaging your ability to have a normal, healthy marital relationship. You are darkening your mind and inviting Satan himself into your home and your heart. God's Word is very clear on issues such as fornication, adultery, immorality, purity, homosexuality, etc. Why would you seek satisfaction from the very things that God is telling you to avoid? Proverbs 3:7 reads, "Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil."

Sure, the so-called "experts" and therapists of this world will tell you that there is nothing wrong with fantasizing and visual stimulation, but God's Word warns you to set no wicked thing before your eyes (Psalm 101:3). Who are you going to listen to? God or the world?

And Ephesians 4:17-18 tells us, "This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind: having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart: who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness." Do not give yourself over to lasciviousness, not for even one minute! Do not alienate yourself from God for the price of a two-bit thrill. Sin always takes you farther than you wanted to go. Sometimes just one look is all it takes.

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So if you have been blessed with a wife, appreciate what you have. Stop looking to some celluloid image or some plastic surgery enhanced stripper for satisfaction. If you have been blessed with a husband, appreciate what you have. Stop wasting your time trapped in some paperback fantasy reading about the exploits of others. Ecclesiastes 6:9 tells us "Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the desire: this is also vanity and vexation of spirit." Desire your husband or wife!!

And if you are single, wait until you are married to experience true sexual satisfaction in a way that is blessed by God. Do not cheapen this gift of God by masturbating or fornicating or jumping from person to person. There is no satisfaction in one-night stands, sex with strangers, or self-abuse. Those things only lead to regret and shame. Romans 6:13, "Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God."

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And if you are someone who has been seeking satisfaction in ways that God disapproves of, make today the day that you repent of your sin. Seek the Lord's forgiveness and ask for the Holy Spirit to give you strength to overcome this behavior. Clean your house of all pornography. Throw away your computer if you have to. Do whatever it takes before it's too late. Isaiah 1:16 tells you to "Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil." And Proverbs 23:26 reads, "My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways."

Friend, there is a way to always be satisfied, but you must lay aside your carnal fleshly desires and look to the Lord. God's Word promises "And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not." (Isaiah 58:11) Now, that's the kind of satisfaction I'm looking for!

NO GREATER JOY MINISTRIES

This publication is dedicated to child training and family. It would seem that a dissertation on pornography should be confined to a different format. But we receive many letters from wives concerned about their husband's pornographic indulgence. The letters we receive are from homeschooling, no birth control, go to church, 'put on a good front' families. Wives want to know how they can train up their children to follow the Lord when their husbands are secretly following porn queens. At one large meeting of several thousand "Christian" men, over 50% of those present confessed to having "used pornography" in the previous seven days. Most ministers avoid ever mentioning this shameful subject. Of those that do, the majority treat it as a "weakness" that Christians should "overcome with counseling." I disagree. We too have avoided addressing the subject because of its sensitiveness. Some of you who live in isolation (thank God that you do) may be offended at my frankness. But you must understand that the life of many families and the souls of their children are at stake.

I would want my children to read this article. The degree to which they understand the words would be a general guide as to how much they are ready to consider. I would then discuss it with them, according to their maturity. But you may not. It's your choice. Just be apprised of the fact that most kids are exposed to some form of pornography by the time they are ten years old.

Now I am speaking to you, fathers. If you isolate yourself in a room and indulge in pornography, you are not sick; you are evil. You are having intercourse with a computer, or with the pages of a publication. In effect you are having an erotic experience with the editor-probably another man. While you are fanaticizing with that commercially produced image, know that there are thousands of others engaged in eroticism with the same image, at the same time as you. You are part of a disgusting group of perverts, all piled onto the same image together. And somewhere there is a sexually dysfunctional editor enjoying the extent of his erotic powers.

You are not oversexed. You are not even sexed. You are alone. At best you are copulating with yourself. Don't tell me that you are getting yourself primed for a conclusion with your wife. It is the priming that draws you back again and again, not the conclusion. You are a pervert. A real man is bigger than his member. He is big enough to say no to his passions. A man whose passions are stimulated to the point of being all consuming is not a man of greater prowess. He is a man whose soul has shrunk until his little member is the strongest thing left. God created us with sexual drive, but he also gave us a steering wheel and a brake to direct and control our drives. If you can't control yours, it is not a statement of the strength of your drive, but of the weakness of your soul. You are wasting away to the level of an alley cat. Adam fell, but you are falling even further. You are plunging your soul into eternal destruction, moving as far away from God as you can get. You are lost and helpless by choice. You do not deserve sympathy or understanding; you deserve condemnation and scorn. You are not a victim; you are a perpetrator. You justify your addiction by pointing to the many who have fallen as you have, but you are condemned by the many who have not fallen, and by the many who were once where you are but have since repented and been restored to normalcy.

While you justify yourself, your own conscience condemns you. You sneak around like a thief as you lie and deceive. Your whole life is dedicated to the dragon. Your body is being consumed as your soul is being digested. You are having communion with the devil - bowing in worship of the flesh. You are a disciple of evil. You have chosen to be part of a group that defiles their own flesh, - "that worships and serves the creature more than the Creator, whose god is their belly, whose glory is their shame." (Romans 1:25; Philippians 3:19).

Very few ever return from the pit into which you are sinking. You have taken the downhill slide into Hell, and there is absolutely nothing to stop you except your willingness to apply the brakes. The problem is that you are more addicted today than you were one year ago, and you will continue to fade into the shadows of debauchery until you are one with the evil on which you feed. You are on the road of no return and every day you are less likely to reverse your course.

The lust you have created is never satisfied. It is an itch with no scratch, only more itch. Pornographic satisfaction is like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow - always just out of reach. The lust of pornography draws a man ever deeper into the dark tunnel of promise until he discovers he has missed life and love. Pornography destroys your ability to "make love," and replaces it with the cunning wit to use and abuse. There comes a point when any attempt at a normal relationship is nothing more than assisted masturbation. Your world grows ever smaller until you are alone with your semen. You stink of self. You do not deserve a woman.

You have nothing to be proud of. You are not a bull. You are a dog. There are millions just like you. Most are not as hypocritical as you are. Some of them hang around bars, nightspots, and porno shops; but take note, you feed on the same diet. Your soul is a receptacle of the same putrefaction. You may yet join them, sharing not only the same books and videos, but also the same dirty motel rooms with their indigenous occupants.

"Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell." (Proverbs 9:17-18).

So your wife is frigid? Don't tell me that pornography is a substitute for a good woman. I was not homeschooled and protected. I am fifty-four years old. I preach in state prisons every week and have done so since I was eighteen. I have ministered in coffeehouses and rescue missions and on the street since I was sixteen. You might convince yourself that you are forced to your actions by an unresponsive wife, but I don't buy it. I have known of porno-freaks that got married to good women, but found that they liked to be alone better than sharing. We have talked to women who are willing and ready, but their husbands prefer their own company. Pornography and a wife are not alternate ways to fulfill the same drive. The drive for a wife is a natural drive, whereas the drive for pornography is a cultivated, perverted passion that has nothing to do with love and marriage. If a pornographer were to marry a porno queen, he would quickly become dissatisfied with her and crawl back in his little hole, alone with his imaginations and the images created by an industry that makes its money not by satisfying its customers, but by keeping them dissatisfied and hungry for the artificial. Your secret world is revolting to real men who know how to love one woman and dedicate the rest of their energies to creative living.

But the most destructive thing about your sin is the effect in has on your children. We live in a spirit world of both righteous and fallen angels. We are surrounded by evil spirits seeking the moral destruction of every human soul. The children of godly parents are protected from unclean spirits by being under their moral umbrella. But when a father gives his mind over to wicked lusts, he removes the hedge of protection around his family and invites impure devils into his home. Wishing them away will avail nothing. Any prayers you pray for their safety are negated the moment you open the pages of a pornographic book or glare at an electronic image. When you tune in to electronic pornography you have established a two-way link with the spiritual underworld. When you lie in bed at night and conjure up wicked images, the devils won't stop with your mind; they will gleefully rush into the bedrooms of your children and assault their little souls and bodies. Evil thoughts will come to their minds - thoughts you have been thinking that are telegraphed to them by the devils. Your defenseless children will be taken captive, and you are the one that threw the gate open to the enemy.

If sodomy is sin, pornography is its "significant other." If the Bible be true when it says that those who commit fornication (Greek porniah, the root of our English word pornography) "shall not inherit the kingdom of God" (Galatians 5:19-21), then the future of any and all pornography users is the suffering of eternal damnation. And in Ephesians 5:6, again speaking of fornication (porniah/pornography), he says, "Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience." If you think you can indulge in pornography and still be a Christian, you are blindly hoping against the clear statements of Scripture. Disciples of Christ read their Bibles, not the dirty books of Sodomites and lesbians. Every time you retreat into your world of lust, you shut the door in God's face. You are dangling your soul and the souls of your children over the fires of eternal damnation.

I have not been as hard on you as God will be in the day of judgment. You have only one hope, and that is to repent toward God. I did not tell you to repent of your sin of pornography, because as an unregenerate man you will not find the power to forsake your first love. You must repent toward God. This you can do while still in the slavery of your sin. To repent toward God is to prefer God and his righteousness above everything else. It is to desire his holiness in your life - to hate the sin that binds you. Make no mistake. The man that repents toward God is a desperate man, a man that longs for the holiness God will bring into his life. The man that repents toward God will experience restless nights and skipped meals in his search for God. A man that repents toward God will find no pleasure or peace in anything until he can rest in God alone. It will not do for you to walk down an aisle and pray a sinner's prayer. It will not be sufficient for you to ask for prayer, or to confess your sins, or go to counseling. You must go directly to God through the Lord Jesus Christ with no hope and no confidence but the mercy and grace of God.

It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God, but it is a blessed thing to stay there until you are forgiven, and cleansed, and then empowered to walk in holiness. The dragon can be killed by Christ alone. Whom Christ makes free he shall be free indeed. I have seen God save and deliver lesbians, Sodomites, and porno freaks as easily as he saves children. Christ is sufficient.

I have done you a service by increasing your guilt, by bringing the law down on you like it will in the day of judgment. Your conscience will not be satisfied by anything less than your exposure and punishment. The good news is that Jesus Christ took upon himself the shame of your sin. God laid on him your iniquity. God made Jesus to be sin in your place. He was treated as if he was the pornographer, the guilty sinner. He died the death you should die. Your sin has been paid for in the sufferings of Christ. If you repent toward God, God will forget your sin as if it had never happened. He will put away your sin and remember it no more. He will remove the guilt and free you from sin's power.

It will take years for the temptations to go away. The devils will return every day and night to offer you the opportunity to rehearse the sin you have laid down, but God will deliver you from yielding to the pull of temptation. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth. He is able to save to the uttermost those that come unto God by him.

The next move is yours. Are you so far gone that before the week is out you will return to that dirty place, or will you repent toward God and see your perversion come to an end? I wrote this for one reason - to see some children saved when daddy repents toward God. It's your move. Your children, your wife, and your God are waiting.

To the Wives of Porno-Freaks

I recognize that some wives whose husband's are porno-addicts will read the above article and feel extremely frustrated, helpless, and perhaps angry. You may be well aware of your duties as a wife, but you are so disgusted with your husband for his despicable behavior that you find it extremely difficult to honor him. How do you reverence someone who is risking the souls of your children? How do you joyfully participate in your nuptial duties when you know that you are simply a receptacle for the eroticism stirred up by his vice? I have to admit that it stretches the limits of my faith to tell you that your duty remains the same. You must honor the office, even when it is commandeered by a wicked man.

Understand that you are part of a chain of command. God is at the top, then Jesus, after that the husband, then the wife, and finally the children. Children are not given the option of deciding if their parents are worthy of their honor. When a child obeys his parents, he is obeying God. Likewise, when a wife obeys and honors her husband, she is obeying and honoring God. If your husband misuses his office, God is the one responsible to discipline him. You can honor God by honoring the scoundrel God has permitted to be your head.

The Bible is clear: If you are married to an unbeliever, you are not to leave him and you are not to turn down his intimate advances. If circumstances are so intolerable, say in the case of violence toward you or the children, or sexual abuse toward your children, if you must leave your husband, you are commanded to remain unmarried as long as he lives, or be reconciled to him.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5, 10-14

3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. [You cannot say no to his advances, except in the case of attempted Sodomy or some other deviant and degrading perversion.]

5 Defraud ye not one the other, [don't hold out on him] except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. [The presence of one saved parent is sufficient to set the children apart unto salvation.]

If your situation is intolerable, commit it to God. I am talking a miracle. Appoint a time to get alone with God and formally turn the situation over to him. Take your hands off of it and allow God full latitude to take charge. You must be willing to endure humiliation and to remain patient indefinitely. You must be willing for God to terminate your husband's job and destroy him financially. You must be willing for him to go to jail. You must be willing to see him - the whole family - suffer humiliation. You must be willing to see your husband come down with a terrible disease. Finally, you must be willing for God to kill your husband if he will not repent. I am not suggesting that God will do any of the above, but when you place it in his hands, you must trust his decisions. God loves to be trusted. He will come to your aid if you will take your hands off of the situation. You can wrestle with it for years and never get any relief, but once you learn your lessons in faith and trust, God can work the miracle of deliverance.

If your husband is sexually abusing the children, or if he is bone-breaking violent, take it to the church. If he does not immediately repent and come under discipline, call the law and have him arrested. Whining promises followed by promises and broken promises and more promises is not acceptable. After being confronted for sexually abusing the children, if your husband does not repent in sackcloth and ashes, to never do it again, turn him over to the authorities. Testify against him, and when he gets three to twenty years in the pen, go to visit him and faithfully wait for him to get out.

God can and will work to defend you and the children if you will truly commit it all to him and perform your duties cheerfully. It is fine for you to confront your husband concerning his pornography and let him know that you are praying for his salvation. It would be proper for you to burn any books that you find lying around the house where a child could possibly access them. If the older children are aware of your husband's pornographic indulgence, make them aware of two things. First, that your heart goes out to your husband, that you love and honor him, and that you are kindly concerned for the salvation of his soul. Second, that you are grieved that he is going to hell for the lack of Christ in his life. Let them know that you pray for his salvation and are ashamed of his sin. Make it clear that his actions are of Satan and will bring damnation. Do this without bitterness or anger.

The great pitfall for a woman is becoming self-righteous and using this situation to dominate the relationship spiritually. Wives are inclined to dominate their husbands in the best of circumstances. Many women love to claim the higher moral ground. They have always been rebels at heart and resent any authority over them. That their husband is unworthy to be a leader is absolutely satisfying to these women. They will resort to nagging and parcel out their intimate favors as a way of controlling his behavior. Sure, they will represent themselves as promoting the interests of God and righteousness, but it is the seat of control that they covet.

Cantankerous wives can provoke their husbands to all kinds of anger and bitterness. Wives that do not enjoy the intimate relationship will leave their husbands open to temptation. But let me be clear, a lousy wife - a lousy sex partner - is not responsible for a husband turning to pornography. You do not have to carry that guilt. Just make sure you are not guilty of pride and bitterness. That combination can damn the children just as surely as pornography. When you have a pornographic husband and a dominant wife, you have a vicious, endless cycle. It will certainly end in divorce. And even worse, the children will magnify the fruit of bitterness. Children will be hurt by a pornographic father, but they will become bitter by a nagging, domineering, condemning mother. Someone must repent and do his or her duty regardless of the spouse.

Finally, there is hope. Put it in God's hands and wait patiently. Others have seen the victory. You can too. And when you have responded to your wicked husband in kindness and love, when you have made yourself available, when you have honored the dishonorable, and your husband repents to God and gets saved and delivered, and you end up with a wonderful marriage and children faithful to God, you will be my hero. K

The Casting Away

Cindy looked at the books stacked on her dresser and wondered how it all happened. What had started as a teenage interest in romance novels had blossomed into an adult addiction. Never did a waking hour go by that Cindy did not find some way and somewhere to read. No time for games, no time for family, only the books. Where did it all begin, and how would it all end?

Having been raised in a Christian home, Cindy had a good idea of what to do. Hours upon hours she cried out to the Lord for mercy and begged for strength. Like any addict, her addiction was a constant torment, but each moment there was strength to overcome.

In time, Cindy's nightmare eased. The pull of the books slowly weakened, until there was no real power in its draw. The battle was won. Cindy prayed many prayers of thanksgiving and started trying to piece her shattered life back together.

Hundreds of books in dozens of boxes soon were stacked neatly on the porch. Literally thousands of dollars had been spent on the addiction. While Cindy could not get her original investment back, maybe she could get a little. Days turned into weeks and the boxes still set on the porch, pretty soon she would take them to the used book store and see what they would offer . . . . .

In a small town a thousand miles away from Cindy sat a woman that was fighting a similar, yet distinctly different, battle. Ann had not been raised in a Christian home, had no Christian friends, and did not even own a Bible. The love of her life was astrology. Every day and every moment was filled with thoughts of stars and signs, horoscopes and zodiacs. Her second husband had left her long ago and now all her time was free to read and study the hundreds of books that she had on the subject of astrology.

By sheer "COINCIDENCE" there was a strong Christian woman that worked in the same building as Ann. Day by day she witnessed to Ann and prayed fervently for Ann to be delivered from the demon of astrology. "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." (James 5:16). Very soon, Ann found that she was a new convert to Christ with a unique problem. What was she going to do with all the books, charts, graphs, and other astrology paraphernalia that she had spent every extra dollar on for years?

In her backyard, Ann cleared a good size patch of ground. With her own hands, she tore and destroyed every item and gathered them into a heap. Tears ran down her checks as she set the pile on fire. Ann watched the flame consume the pages and smelled the acidic smoke rise to Heaven and offer up her sacrifice. Everything that she had relied on for security was being destroyed. It was the hardest fight of her life, but Ann won the victory that night . . . . .

Both of these stories are true. Both women are real. (I'm not using actual names.) Each story does have a different ending however. Ann is a solid member of her church, and a faithful witness of Christ. Her free time is spent doing volunteer work and ministering to young people about the dangers of astrology. Cindy has relapsed into her addiction with romance novels on several occasions. She is now divorced and her children have all left home. Cindy does not attend church and, if you drove by her home, you might well see a stack of boxes containing cheap paperback romance novels.

"And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and CAST IT FROM THEE:" (Matt. 5:29a). The key to victory is THE CASTING AWAY. To rid the temple of anything that would offend the presence of God. The sacrificing of those things that bring temptation. In both instances, to stop reading was not enough, the "temple" had to be cleansed. A final act of commitment had to be performed; to "cast away" that which had once been so precious was an important step in the process.

I do not doubt that both women sincerely wanted to be delivered from the spirits of addiction that controlled their lives. One, however, was willing to go the extra step in proving her dedication. That is the difference between being healed and being made whole.

By Cadi Nobles

TEACHING YOUR CHILD

Looking back over your childhood, what are some of the things that you wish your parents had done differently? What are those things that you are grateful to your parents for?

One thing that I am grateful to my parents for, especially my dad, are the life lessons that I was taught. What were those life lessons? Well, for one, growing up, my father taught me the value of money. I received a very small allowance, and I had my assigned chores that I had to do to get that allowance money. And on those rare occasions when I needed a little extra cash, dad would not just hand the money over. Oh, no. He would find something for me to do to earn it. I remember one time I needed a little money, and my dad told me that I could earn it by taking a toothbrush and soapy water and cleaning the dusty, greasy kitchen floor corners. No, sir, there were no spoiled children in our house.

When I got a little older and I had my first minimum wage paying job, dad told me that I would have to pay a portion of one of the household utility bills. Keep in mind I was about 15 and only making about $70 a week. I guess dad wanted me to learn responsibility. Then when tax time came around, my dad offered to fill out my tax forms for me -- for a fee. He charged me $5. I learned early on how to pay my own way, and I realized without a doubt that money did not grow on trees.

Another financial lesson that dad taught me was the importance of having a good name. He stressed that you should never do anything that could ruin your credit. Dad used to say that your name is the only thing that you truly own and that once it's tarnished, it is almost impossible to ever get it back. My father would never co-sign for anyone. He would not even help my brother out when my brother wanted to purchase his first home. Yes, my father taught us kids some hard lessons about the value of money, and I have never forgotten them.

Now, don't get me wrong. At the time I was being taught these lessons, I wasn't so thrilled about them. As a youth, I thought my father was a tightwad. I envied the kids who got all the new clothes and bikes and games. But now as an adult who has A-1 credit, a good job, my own house, no outstanding debt, and an appreciative spirit, I can say a silent, "Thanks, Dad."

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But there are lots of life lessons that my mom and dad didn't teach me. And of all the things that I wish my folks had done differently, number one is I wish they had taken the time to teach me God's values and standards. Learning the value of money is great, but I wish I would have been taught about morality. A good name in matters of business is necessary, but I would have probably sinned a lot less growing up if I had learned to value my name as a child of God. I'm not blaming my parents for my past mistakes. I am just hoping to stress to you parents that as your child's first teacher, you have the responsibility and opportunity to lay the foundation that will shape and direct your child's life.

I believe that many parents have become lazy and apathetic in their parental duties. Parents seem to have thrown in the towel and now have an attitude of "if you can't beat them, join them" where their children are concerned. What do I mean? Well, let me ask you a few questions:

Have you taken the time to teach your children the virtues of purity and that their bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit, or did you instead choose to teach your children about condoms, birth control, and safe sex? Do you, by example and words, stress a Godly attitude towards drinking and drugs, or are you waiting for some school program to give your child a "just say no" lesson? Do you keep your children accountable to you as their parent and guardian, or are you more interested in trying to be their best friend and get them to like you? Are you like Joshua, who said these wonderful words: "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15b), or have you left your children to find their own way in this world full of temptations, sins, and evil?

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Don't you know that children want to have standards to live up to? They want their parents to give them structure and guidance and direction. Kids may fight you every step of the way, but secretly they are grateful that you love them enough to want to fence them in with high standards and rules. And not only do your children want it -- God wants you to teach your children His commands and standards!

Deuteronomy 32:46, "And he said unto them, Set your hearts unto all the words which I testify among you this day, which ye shall command your children to observe to do, all the words of this law."

Deuteronomy 6:6-7, "And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."



Remember in the book of Exodus where God's wrath was going to come down on Egypt and Pharaoh? God was going to kill all of the firstborn, and the only way to be saved from God's wrath was by spreading the blood of a lamb on the doorpost of your house. The fate of the children lay in their parents' hands. And because the Israelite parents were obedient and did as God commanded, not one Israelite child was lost. Death came to the firstborn of every Egyptian household because those parents did not do as God said.

Well, I wonder how many households today are going to lose their children because the parents have not taken the time to make sure that their household is washed in Christ's saving blood. Don't let your child become a casualty because you were not obedient to God's instruction. Again, be like Joshua and declare, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!" WE WILL. Not we might, if everyone is in agreement, but WE WILL!!

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I know that there is no guarantee that your child will not become involved in pre-marital sex, drugs, gangs, the occult, whatever, but as a parent, you should do everything within your power to steer them away from this world's temptations. You should give your children the tools that they need to battle whatever this world throws their way. And you definitely should not be the one who introduces your child to anything negative. All of the early lessons I was taught regarding sex, drugs, lying, etc., were taught in my own home! Dad had the Playboy magazines delivered every month. Mom let my uncle take us to see R-rated movies. Both of my parents drank alcohol and smoked. Their conversations were often peppered with curse words. I was taught lying at home, you know, those "little white lies." For example, "If that is so-and-so on the phone, tell them I'm not here."

Parents, let your children see Christ living in you. Don't be bad role models. Be a blessing to your children. Proverbs 20:7, "The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him."

And, also, do not be afraid to restrain your children. God expects no less of you. 1 Samuel 3:13, "For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not."

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There is, I would imagine, no greater joy than seeing your child grow up to be a man or woman after God's own heart. Don't you want that for your child? Well, if you want it, you have to train them for it.

Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Proverbs 23:24, "The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him."

And in following God's commands and instructing your children in His ways, you are leaving a legacy to your children that will pass on from generation to generation.

Psalm 132:12, "If thy children will keep my covenant and my testimony that I shall teach them, their children shall also sit upon thy throne for evermore."

Joel 1:3, "Tell ye your children of it, and let your children tell their children, and their children another generation."



But there will be shame and heartache in the house where the parents do not teach their children Godly standards:

Proverbs 29:15, "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."

Proverbs 10:1, "A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother."

Psalm 89:30-31 "If his children forsake my law, and walk not in my judgments; if they break my statutes, and keep not my commandments; then will I visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes."

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So in conclusion, I just want to encourage you parents to teach your children all of life's lessons, not just some. Your kids are counting on you more than you may realize. It will sometimes be a thankless task, but it has benefits that will reach into eternity!

And if you teach your children nothing else, please teach them the fear of the Lord.

Deuteronomy 5:29, "O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever!"

Deuteronomy 31:13, "And that their children, which have not known any thing, may hear, and learn to fear the Lord your God, as long as ye live in the land whither ye go over Jordan to possess it."

Psalm 34:11, "Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the Lord."

Followers

Are you a follower? There are all sorts of things that you can follow in this world. Some people follow sports. Some people follow politics. Some people follow other people's activities on Facebook or Twitter. Truth be told, we are all following something or someone. But the kind of follower that I really had in mind is this one: Are you a follower of the Lord?

A lot of times it is easier to spot those other kinds of followers than it is to spot followers of the Lord. A sports follower shows their allegiance by wearing their team's colors. A member of a particular political party makes their affiliation known by bumper stickers or maybe by their stance on certain topics. A follower of Facebook or Twitter simply has a web page listing their connections. But how do you show that you are a follower of the Lord?

Well, the bible tells us what God desires from those who claim to be followers of Jesus Christ. Let's read on and see what it says.

For one thing, the Lord wants his followers to follow him alone. You cannot say that Jesus Christ is your Lord and yet you follow all of the spiritual, mystical, occultic nonsense that is coming down the pike. You cannot be of two or three or seven opinions regarding what your belief system entails. I know many "Christians" who involve themselves with things such as Astrology and Feng Shui and Laws of Attraction and yoga, yet they do not seem to realize or care that these things are in total opposition to what the Holy Bible teaches. They chase after every new-fangled ism and dogma and transcendental New Age thought and just tack it on to their own made-up version of Christianity. They remind me of the people of Athens spoken about in Acts 17:21, "For all the Athenians and strangers which were there spent their time in nothing else, but either to tell, or to hear some new thing."

But God's Word shows us that this double-mindedness is not pleasing to the Lord. So you need to figure out who or what you truly want to follow because the Lord is not interested in piecemeal faith.

1 Kings 18:21, "And Elijah came unto all the people, and said, How long halt ye between two opinions? if the Lord be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him. And the people answered him not a word."

Exodus 34:14, "For thou shalt worship no other god: for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God."

Isaiah 42:8, "I am the Lord: that is my name: and my glory will I not give to another, neither my praise to graven images."

Jeremiah 13:10, "This evil people, which refuse to hear my words, which walk in the imagination of their heart, and walk after other gods, to serve them, and to worship them, shall even be as this girdle, which is good for nothing."

James 4:8, "Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded."

Now, maybe you would argue, "Well, I don't really follow that stuff. I'm just a little curious about it. It's just harmless entertainment." I would again stress to you that Astrology, Feng Shui, LOA, et cetera, these things are not pleasing to the Lord and have nothing to do with Christianity. They are straight from Satan himself and should hold no appeal to any true follower of Jesus Christ. There is nothing harmless about it, and a Christian should not have anything to do with any of it. These verses below make it very plain:

Corinthians 10:21,"Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils; ye cannot be partakers of the Lord's table, and of the table of devils."

Ephesians 5:11-12, "And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret."

Jeremiah 17:5, "Thus saith the Lord; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord."

A true follower of Christ puts their faith and trust in Jesus alone. A true follower of Christ reads their bible for guidance and direction. The constellations do not hold the answers. Oprah Winfrey or some other human guru cannot save you. And there are no Secrets that this world offers that you should find enticing. John 10:4, "And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice."

Jesus' voice is the voice you should be listening to, and Christ ALONE is the one you should be following if you are truly a Christian.

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Now, what else does the Lord desire from those who profess to be his followers? The Lord wants us to strive to live holy, righteous lives. Being a follower of Christ should mean that you are no longer sinning like the unsaved people in the world. The bible calls us strangers, pilgrims. We are sojourners just passing through this wicked world on our way to our true home heaven. Jesus' shed blood does not just save us from hell later. Through it we have power to overcome sin and live righteous lives TODAY, and that is what the Lord expects from his followers. Here are a few verses that speak on this:

1 Thessalonians 4:7, "For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness."

2 Corinthians 7:1, "Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

1 Peter 1:14-16, "As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy."

Psalm 56:13, "For thou hast delivered my soul from death: wilt not thou deliver my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living?"

2 Timothy 2:19, "Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity."

Titus 2:12, "Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world."

1 John 1:6, "If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth."

Romans 6:22, " But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life."

1 Peter 2:11, "Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul."

The Lord cares for his followers and only wants the best for us. His commandments, rules, and call for holiness are given because He loves us and wants to shield and protect us from the ravages of sin. And it should not be a hardship for you to give up your past sinful ways. It should be with joy and gladness that you turn from those former lusts and follow this new path that the Lord has laid out for you.

So ask yourself these questions: Have I been striving against all known sin? Have I been living soberly, righteously and godly? Have I been reading God's Word daily and obeying what I have learned? Am I willing to give up all for Christ?

A true follower of the Lord should be able to answer those questions with a resounding "yes." Your life should be bearing fruit unto holiness. Anyone can say that they are a follower of Christ, but your day-to-day actions really show if Jesus is truly your Lord and Savior.

Unfortunately, I think a lot of times instead of striving to live holy lives, as the Lord desires of us, people instead take their cues from those folks around them. I call it monkey-see, monkey-do faith. "Oh, well, so-and-so is a Christian, and if she/he speaks like this, and listens to that, and goes there, and fornicates, and dresses in that fashion, and imbibes, then it must be okay if I do it too." But we cannot base our Christian walk on the lives or actions of others. There are many wolves in sheep's clothing pretending to be Christians. There are many devils in disguise trying to lead you on the path to perdition. And there are many confused people who do not even realize that they are still on the road to hell themselves. The verses below warn us about this:

Romans 12:2, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

1 John 3:7-8, "Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous. He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil."

Proverbs 30:12, "There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness."

3 John 1:11, "Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God."